Commentary on Prods, Prods, Prods

I have read in a few places that if you're going to spend money on products, don't spend it on ones that are going to get washed down the drain--namely shampoo, conditioner, and cleanser--and instead spend money on what actually stays on your skin and hair. I wish I had remembered this before I splurged and bought Sally Herschberger conditioner for $12. That was dumb. Live and learn! I just discovered Bumble and Bumble Curl Conscious, which, when used w/ Sally Herschberger primer and a diffuser literally gave me the BEST HAIR OF MY LIFE! However, I borrowed some of this and do not know where to purchase it! Ulta? I don't know. Someone tell me.

Prods, Prods, Prods: Keeping it Real in These Ridiculous Economic Times

From Special Guest Blogger Phoebe:

Recently, with Suzy Orman shouting in the back of my ear "We are f'ed! Don't spend money!" I have gone all drugstore on prods, and to be honest with amazing results. Rather than buying my $50 moisturizer I purchased $20 Oil of Olay moisturizer and have been amazed by the smell and silky smooth results. I also purchased $3 mild face soap, which has worked just fine. Meanwhile, in the shower, I found that I love Dove "shiny hair" shampoo and conditioner! I mean can we say Jennifer Aniston with this stuff? And the combo was a mere $6. However, there is one area that I realized I absolutely cannot go cheap on and that is my Bumble and Bumble orange bottle styling cream. I tried a $3 Tresemme volumizer and it did the exact opposite of its description. I felt flat and dull not bouncy and volumized! So despite the (gulp) $26, I remain devoted to Bn'B styling cream. I had a titch left in my old bottle and used it this morning and feel completely Jen A.

Bumble and Bumble 4 Life,

Max Factor, I'm Back!

I'm sure you're all on pins and needles about my mascara situation. If you're new, here's a little sampling of my pain. And here. And here.

There's more, but I'm too lazy to dig them up. Anyhoo, I defected to Prescriptives mascara, because it's top notch, passes the crying/rubbing/all day test, and I could conveniently buy it at the department store over my lunch break. Well, current circumstances have forced me to go back to a less-expensive product, so I finally broke down and went to Ulta where there was a special...buy 2 get a dollar off or something, so I ended up only paying like $4/each. A bargain compared to $21 at the Prescriptives counter. And man, I am mad I piddled away alllll those $21 times I didn't buy Max Factor! O.M.G.!

My life is all topsy-turvy because I discovered Max Factor's new Volume Couture! (Their dumb site takes forever to load).

This stuff is amazing. You know how in the morning, you put on your mascara and it's all great, and your eyelashes are super long, and then at the end of the day when you go to wash your face you notice that somehow your lashes are maybe 2 centimeters shorter, but you're not sure how it happened b/c you use Prescriptives so there's no flaking or smudging, but it's still not there and it just doesn't look your BEST? Well this stuff makes your lashes look the exact same all day long and all day strong! I can't even believe it! Every time I'm in front of the mirror I keep staaaring b/c I can't even believe it! And according to their site, this stuff is the "official mascara of milan fashion shows." And Gisele is their new spokesperson, which is awesome because she's HOT. A+ all around!

Update: Eating More Fat

Here's the problem with my whole-fat dairy project: I do not own a scale. So for all I know I could weigh 40 more lbs. Also, I finally broke down and bought halloween candy! And busted into the first bag! And am terrified that I will eat 43 peanut butter cups! Which will muck up my little experiment, but there you are.

Anyway, so far I am definitely more full w/ the cream in my coffee. When I put real cream in there, I'm too full to want to really eat any breakfast. Weird. And my full-fat yogurt-granola combo keeps me full at least 5 hours. So I think that's pretty good. I'll take it. I wonder what the cost breakdown of that is per bowl. And what that would be versus cheerios and whole milk...and how long that would keep me full...I can see I have some more work to do. So far, I'm still in favor. I also want to point out that full-fat is the same price as reduced fat! You'd think reduced fat would be more, considering they have to process it, but there you are.

Chakra Massage: Total Bliss

Yesterday I had my chakra massage. Who knew this existed? It was pretty sweet. The same price as a regular massage, which for me means save your pennies! And use sparingly. Anyhoo, here's how it went down: There was a lot of focus on the spine-area. Then we did a little chakra work; she said a chakra word and color, and I had to think about both things while she did some energy work over the chakra. Apparently, thinking about both these things engaged both parts of my brain and...I have no idea why that was important, but apparently it was.

Anyway, then I flipped and she did some reflexology on my feet. Now, here's the part where I started to panic. I am a total idiot and decided not to shower the day of my massage because I was just going to get all oily and greasy anyway--but not thinking that the massage therapist was going to be touching up all over me, including my toe-jam. I was also scanning my brain to remember the last time I shaved. I'm pretty sure my leg hair could've cut diamonds. DIAMONDS. I'm positive her hands started to bleed after rubbing my beardy-legs and it probably looked like a crime scene. I wouldn't know, I kept my eyes shut and was praying hard that she wouldn't say anything and add to my humiliation. She didn't--phew!

So, after that all passed, she did some energy work on my chakras, did a neck rub deal, put a hot towel on my face and called it a day. When I got up, I was totally buzzed. I was super zen-d out the whole rest of the day. Parking meter ate my quarter? Whatever. $6 bowl of cold soup that was really only worth $4 at most? Who cares. Running late to book club? Eh.

I wish this high lasted for the rest of my life, but alas! It was not to be. This morning I was totally surly and emotional. Not sure what to attribute it to...maybe all the toxins that got jolted around? Maybe my chakras continuing to balance? Hormones? Conspiracy? I don't know. All I know is, let's assume this mood change was unrelated and I'll do it again! Bring it!

New Money-Saving Strategy: Eat More Fat

Apparently, there is a school of thought that eating good-for-you fats can actually help you lose weight (when done reasonably). My sisters are on this train, and I'm climbing on board. As my (poorest) sister pointed out, you consume less food, and thus spend less money. I'm for that!

I am testing this idea for a week or so to see how it goes. I know one thing: everything is more delicious! I poured a little cream on my peach crumble at lunch today and I *may* have experienced nirvana. I also bought a ton of cheese and yogurt, so luckily I'm not a vegan. I spent $38 at the co-op today, so hopefully all my full-fat dairy will last for a few weeks. Fingers crossed!

When You Start to Get Poor, Shop in OTHER People's Closets

Last weekend I went to a fashion swap. This was an excellent idea (thank you, M!)! You clean out your closet, get a bunch of ladies together, and then swap around your clothes, shoes, handbags, and accessories! You get rid of your stuff, get fun new stuff, and don't even spend a dime. Except for on the booze you should have as you do this.

I'm going to try to sell some of the better stuff I had leftover, and the rest goes to charity (which I am dropping off by the 20-lbs bags tomorrow), so the giving keeps on! I don't know why we didn't think of this before.

Crockpotted: Peach Crumble

This was one of my more cost-effective recipes. It is basically a peach "crisp," with just an oatmeal/brownsugar/butter mixture on top of peaches. The recipe calls for fresh peaches, but they're no in season and also who wants to pay for 2 pounds of fresh peaches anyway? So I subbed in canned and it was fine. And it only needed about 2.5 hours to cook.

In my cost breakdown, I'm just counting the peaches because other ingredients are what you'd have on hand. This was sooooooo good and serves 6. It's cheap enough that I am seriously considering eating this as my main meal for maybe the rest of my life. I was supposed to take this over to a friend's for a screening of Mad Men (my new fave show!) but my car died in the garage! And now I have to deal with a large mechanic's bill in the morning, I am sure. Sigh!
Per serving cost: approx 90 cents
Verdict: eat it!

Day Drinking: Rounds 3 and 4

As it happens, I daydrank by accident yesterday...I still feel like it doesn't count as much on a weekend, but there you are. Anyway, I forced my mom to take me to lunch, because sometimes a girl wants a free meal! So when the waitress asked me if I wanted a bloody mary, I took it as a sign. Now I KNOW I didn't drink it with a grilled cheese, but I figured you would forgive me. I ate it w/ eggs benedict. This was a good plan! I have never actually had a real bloody mary before, and I am impressed! (It was actually a little too spicy for my delicate nordic palate, but I still managed.) You couldn't even taste the vodka. The downside to this is that you need to watch it to make sure you can still drive your mom home after consuming one of these things, but just be responsible.

My next round came today...my friend lured me to her house on this dreary, rainy day with the temptation of brandy apple ciders. Yum! Never even heard of them before, but this is a drink I approve of. Had to stick with just one (on account of the driving home part), but I have confirmed that drinking during the day, no matter what the alcohol, is done much better in company.

When You Start to Get Poor, Shop in Your Closet

Apparently Oprah's doing some series on finance with Suze Orman. You'd think I'd be all excited about this, but as it turns out it's pretty lame. Suze just gets all up in these dummies' faces because they'd rather buy their 5-year-old a trip to Disney World than pay their mortgage. Come on! Don't waste my time. Last week some mom was martyred because she could feed her family of 5 on $4 a meal. Really? And she's proud of that? She's serving meat--which means the sick giblets the butcher scrapes off his boot and onto the styrofoam tray and marks with a special sticker that says "half price." I mean, I'm frugal, but sometimes you need to have standards!

Anyhoo, I got a bee in my bonnet to clean out my closet this past week. Suddenly, it was as if my messy, unorganized closet was the one thing that is holding me back. It was as though clearing, cleaning, sorting, and folding was going to change my life forever for the good. And I must say, I already feel better about being organized in general. Anyway, my point is thatI unearthed a ton of stuff--which was a seriously smugal move.

I found a tub of face cream (ran out last month, have been scraping by on regular face lotion--not the same!), 2 bars of scented soap (running low, won't need to buy new ones!), some reasonable stuff I could sell for cash (sweet!), hair product (I'm pretty sure I will not run out of hair prods until I'm 83 years old, but always good to find new ones), a few clutches I hadn't seen in a while, a pair of boots for fall, and 2 bottles of shampoo! I won't have to hit target for another 9 months at this rate! Going through all the stuff I have is like the gift that keeps on giving...gets rid of my crap and saves me TONS of money. I figure I easily save $80. Try it!

Crockpotted: Mac and Cheese

This was the easiest thing in the whole world. I dumped evaporated milk, noodles, cheese, and an egg in the pot and turned it on. Didn't even need to pre-cook the noodles! The recipe said to cook for 3.5-4 hours, but right at 3.5 it was already overcooked! The edges were all brown and crunchy and not really edible, so really I only got about 2 servings out of it instead of 4. This was a cheap one, though, and I figure I only spent about $4 on it, so $1/serving. Not bad! But you're going to want 2 servings, so really $2/pop. Not great, but not terrible.

Because I am gourmet (and wanted to use up my mozzarella cheese and not buy cheddar), I varied the recipe and and made "Italian Mac and Cheese," made w/ mozz (obv), fresh tomato on top, and Italian herbs. It got rave reviews from my guest.

Per serving cost: $1-2
Verdict: eh.

The People Have Been Heard

The votes are in! Grilled cheese and bloody marys it is! I was trying to figure out what all is in a bloody mary, then decided to just buy the mix, then said "F that! I'm having the smugal woman's bloody mary!" which will be V-8, vodka, and an organic celery stick. Work with what you got! I'll let you know how Day Drinkin' 3 goes next week. I think that's the first time I can do it...

Reading Magazines is Bad for Your Budget

I had the misfortune of reading Allure magazine this weekend. I was reading some article about how to give yourself the Perfect Blowout, and discovered that I need more hair tools! I am pissed, because I was just thanking god that in my past I am a hair product hoor, because I have at least a year's supply of shampoo, conditioner, primer, goos, creams, gels, sprays, serums, and shine-enhancers! I don't even need to tempt myself in those aisles, and in fact have banned myself from crossing over to the dark side at Target.

But now I can see that volume is in! Obviously I need volumizer for my roots! I don't have any! And it turns out that I need an ionic hairdryer! With a nozzle! And barring that, I need a nozzle for my current hair dryer! Suddenly, I need to spend $50 more than before I started reading that. Dammit! I think I have to ban all fashion/beauty mags until after I start raking in the dough.

Animal Farm

Oh, the things I do for money! Once again I've got animals in my house--this time 2 dogs. These little ewoks are soooooooo cute! But their cuteness:gross ratio gap is closing every day. I have cleaned up barf, snot, pee, poop, and unidentified fluids.

Additionally, these dogs have these weirdo hairy tails, so their poo gets stuck in mushy clumps and in little dried pellets. The other night one of them took a nose dive off my bed, landed on his face, stared at me while he took a juicy dump, and then jumped back up into my bed with his poo tail and rubbed his poo-juice all over my white sheets! And guess what! Poo juice does not come out in the wash, my friends. It is a permanent reminder of the insolence and disrespect shown to me by a hairy little ewok dog. It was so gross I had to stick his butt in the sink and in the end cut out his butt-hairs. I'm pretty sure my regular pay does not cover this sick and unusual situation, and I continue to wonder how it can come to be that I always get this sick dog stuff, but at least it's not as bad as this time. Ooooooor this.

Day Drinking: Gearing up for Round 3!

Boy, I blog about drinking and everyone comes out of the woodwork! I got schooled up, down, and all around for my failed experiment. I have been pounded for my choice of alcohol and believe me! I will not make that mistake again. I guess I'll have to take a poll about my drinks so you chumps can tell me what to drink and I don't have to get anymore beat-downs. Sheesh! I've been told I should throw some whiskey in that coffee, to try champagne (ok, I did just do that one last sunday, but that doesn't count because it's a weekend), bloody marys...I can't remember the rest. Apparently there is also a technique...one must drink and eat simultaneously. Take my food-drink combo poll and let me know what I should try...send me a comment if you have a better combo and I'll take it into consideration.

Crockpotted: Chocolate Peanut Butter Pudding Cake

She's broken in! I did it! I finally busted her out of her box! Listen, don't be mad, but I didn't do the veggie chili like you voted on...it's too hot outside! I went to an Emmy party and made the pudding cake as dessert. It was goooood! (If you were there, feel free to comment on this assertion.) Very, very rich but delicious. I will probably make it again, but I'm trying out other dessert recipes first. But the best part about the recipe is that I had all the ingredients in my house! I didn't even need to go to the store! So it felt like I made dessert for 8 for free...the best part of all!

Crockpottin'!

Okay, I admit I still have yet to take the crock pot out of the box (!!). But I'm prepared! I went to the farmer's market to get all these root vegetables ($14) that I'm going to throw in there...and then I realized I don't really have a recipe. I thought I did. Hmmm. I am not familiar enough w/ the crockpotting-arts to have the skillz to make up my own yet. However, good news! I came across this book at my sister's, and she gave it to me!! OMG! Providence! Now there are a bunch of meat recipes in here (rabbit!), but also tooooons of veggie side dishes and even desserts! I can't even wait to get started, I am totally inspired! The crock pot will surely see the light of day any moment now...

Oh, as a bonus, here's a great-looking chocolate pudding cake crock pot recipe I found online...I'm for sure going to try it.

The Smugal Gourmet

As I'm on a (very!) tight budget, I've decided to pay better attention to how much my groceries are costing...yet still be able to eat deliciously. I'd rather not go on the spaghetti and ramen diet. Last week I made lasagne! In place of meat, I used kidney beans as my protein (which is also cheaper!). I did some number crunching and determined that it cost approx $15 to make an entire pan, which was supposedly 8 servings. However, I ate it for like 5 meals and I still had a ton left over. This works out to around $1.87 per serving if I did the math right (doubtful), which isn't too shabby! However, I'm going to be able to get like 12 servings out of it, so that cost/serving will be even lower! (I don't feel like doing the math on that one.)

Initially, I meant to share with friends, before I was given various and sundry reasons why no one wanted to eat it: they "don't like noodles," "leftovers are gross," "I'm avoiding wheat/dairy/beans..." Whatever. I ended up freezing 2/3 of it and I'm hoping I can finish it all eventually so I get my money's worth! Cooking for 1 is kind of lame, I've discovered, when no one will share your food! If you have to toss 1/2 of it, it's not that good a deal.

I think I'm gong to have to work out some kind of meal-exchange program with those who don't "hate leftovers." Or get friends over here who are less picky!

Day Drinking: Revisted

Well, during one of my last layoffs, I tested drinking during the day (just because I could), and was not impressed with the results. With some encouragement, I decided to give 'er another whirl, and had a few mugs of coffee today with a few splashes of Bailey's. Not a good idea, folks! Bailey's was not the best choice. I felt all syrupy and nasty and headachy and dehydrated when I went on a walk later. I have since decided I think Bailey's is best for decaf before bed.

I might get better results having a 1pm beer, but it may be a while before I try that again. It might make me feel like a lush if I down a few by myself.

I Have a Fan!

Yay! A reason to update! I just assumed I was blogging into a black hole. Said fan requested a Crock Pot update. Well, I'm ashamed to admit that the update is that the pot is still in its box in the basement. I know!!! Inexcusable. Here is the website I'm using for my veggie crocks recipes! My fantasy plan is to go to the farmer's market, get some farm-fresh food, and toss it in the ol' crock for a delicious dinner. My ultimate goal is to become an expert and make a ton of non-soupy veggie crock entrees! A noble goal. Additionally, I think this will be a very cost-effective way to get economeal prices. Obviously I will do a per-meal price breakdown.

This new crock pot goal is a good idea--I need to create more structure into my day. Yesterday I was on the computer for hours, and then rolled over to a friend's house for dinner LITERALLY looking like a homeless person. It was like something the cat dragged in. Must remember to put on real clothes every day, not just lounge around in my Pillsbury dough boy jammie pants and fleeces.