Smugal Tip-of-the-Week

So I was fantasizing about buying this $60 perfume at the perfume counter, and i spritzed it on one of those tagboard sample-sticks. Alas, I cannot afford the perfume, but I have kept it in my car and it is an excellent car-freshener! Which is truly a bonus, since the little girl I nanny for has previously told me that my (natural) car smell gave her a headache.

Target is on K-Mart Status

Target is my most favorite place in the world to be. I am a passionately loyal customer. But last week I wanted to smack it SO. HARD. On a mission to find Lash Xact, my would-be replacement for fecking Max Factor, I went to *2* stores on several occasions, and he's what I found: Dusty, cobwebby mascaras. Um, about 3 total, maximum. And in either blackest black or brown. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure a) you should not poke dustbunnies into your eyeballs and b) TARGET EMPLOYEES SHOULD BE STOCKING THE SHELVES. You must be thinking, "oh, the shelves weren't stocked, she must've been at K-Mart," but I assure you, I haven't been to K-Mart since I was forced to buy Martha Stewart paint 2 years ago. And to add insult to injury, the fecking check-out girl asked me if I wanted to open a Target credit card for my $4.59 purchase (of another mascara—more on that in a minute) and I seriously wanted to kill her, because I am smugal, but would any sane person think it's a really good idea to save 10% on $4.59? No. Also, I am so sick of them asking me to open a card EVERY GD TIME I BUY ANYTHING AT TARGET! STOP ASKING ME!!!! I am getting so tense even writing about it.

OK, so here's my product evaluation: I was forced to buy Fabulous Lash (I think it's Cover Girl). Doesn't wash off too clean. But doesn't smnudge off too badly during the day. Overall, not too impressed. I hope Queen Latifah has more to offer. Estee Lauder Defencils is AWESOME (I got a free sample) but I am trying to avoid have to pay $20 for mascara...but at least I know if I go to the makeup counter they will HAVE it!

Still Drinkin'

It is interesting to report that many people have great investment in my daytime drinking. So I will perservere. It has been recommended that I try liquir instead of beer. Today I had a hard lemonade with lunch, and must say, I concur. Tiredness did not ensue. Next, I will try a Gin Rickey. I have purchased all the fixin's.

The good (sort of) news is that with my new lifestyle, I've been drinkin' all the time (at night at least) and thus my tolerance is quite high. One drink at lunch won't put me out of driving, and I can still run to Target to deal with my mascara debacle...

This-N-That

Well, here are a variety of things to report:

* I successfully experimented with having a beer in the middle of the day, just because. I am sad to report that it is lame. Not only did it make me really tired, but it got me just buzzed enough that I couldn't drive anywhere, but not buzzed enough to get any enjoyment out of it. I am sure you regular-job-types will be happy to hear that.

* It is official that Days of Our Lives is un-watchable. I cannot stomach it any longer. Do not waste one more minute wishing you could watch it. However, The People's Court is conveniently on at the same time. You can feel sad you are not home to watch that.

* Regarding "Starting Over"
Q: Can't you tape it? I can't believe you're into Starting Over. That is LAME. I can't believe you're not watching Lifetime Movies instead.

A: Taping a show would involve figuring out how to hook my VCR up to my TV. And Lifetime movies would involve paying for cable, which this Smugal lady is not down for. But excellent suggestion.

Max Factor, You Bastard!

Well, I searched and searched for years for the perfect mascara...an elusive holy grail for those of us who are cursed with ghostly-pale, barely visible eyelashes. And I found it: Max Factor Stretch and Separate, and Max Factor Lash Lift. Ya'll, these mascaras do not smudge. They don't flake. They are water resistant. They wash off well with soap and water, but don't run when you watch a little Lifetime movie. They make your lashes thick and luxurious. So last week I went to Target to restock and guess what. The Max Factor display was empty. Empty, I say! I ran around to several other stores, and it was the same story. I finally went to the Max Factor Web site, only to find that now if I want to purchase their products in this state, I can go to the grocery store, Wal-Mart, or K-Mart.

HELL. NO.

I am now accepting suggestions for a new brand/variety. I have been given a tip about Cover Girl Lash Exact, but went to Target and they were out! I am so sure! I guess it's a sign that it's good? Anyway, please send drug-store brand suggestions, so a frugal lady like myself can afford!