Animal Farm

Oh, the things I do for money! Once again I've got animals in my house--this time 2 dogs. These little ewoks are soooooooo cute! But their cuteness:gross ratio gap is closing every day. I have cleaned up barf, snot, pee, poop, and unidentified fluids.

Additionally, these dogs have these weirdo hairy tails, so their poo gets stuck in mushy clumps and in little dried pellets. The other night one of them took a nose dive off my bed, landed on his face, stared at me while he took a juicy dump, and then jumped back up into my bed with his poo tail and rubbed his poo-juice all over my white sheets! And guess what! Poo juice does not come out in the wash, my friends. It is a permanent reminder of the insolence and disrespect shown to me by a hairy little ewok dog. It was so gross I had to stick his butt in the sink and in the end cut out his butt-hairs. I'm pretty sure my regular pay does not cover this sick and unusual situation, and I continue to wonder how it can come to be that I always get this sick dog stuff, but at least it's not as bad as this time. Ooooooor this.

Day Drinking: Gearing up for Round 3!

Boy, I blog about drinking and everyone comes out of the woodwork! I got schooled up, down, and all around for my failed experiment. I have been pounded for my choice of alcohol and believe me! I will not make that mistake again. I guess I'll have to take a poll about my drinks so you chumps can tell me what to drink and I don't have to get anymore beat-downs. Sheesh! I've been told I should throw some whiskey in that coffee, to try champagne (ok, I did just do that one last sunday, but that doesn't count because it's a weekend), bloody marys...I can't remember the rest. Apparently there is also a technique...one must drink and eat simultaneously. Take my food-drink combo poll and let me know what I should try...send me a comment if you have a better combo and I'll take it into consideration.

Crockpotted: Chocolate Peanut Butter Pudding Cake

She's broken in! I did it! I finally busted her out of her box! Listen, don't be mad, but I didn't do the veggie chili like you voted on...it's too hot outside! I went to an Emmy party and made the pudding cake as dessert. It was goooood! (If you were there, feel free to comment on this assertion.) Very, very rich but delicious. I will probably make it again, but I'm trying out other dessert recipes first. But the best part about the recipe is that I had all the ingredients in my house! I didn't even need to go to the store! So it felt like I made dessert for 8 for free...the best part of all!

Crockpottin'!

Okay, I admit I still have yet to take the crock pot out of the box (!!). But I'm prepared! I went to the farmer's market to get all these root vegetables ($14) that I'm going to throw in there...and then I realized I don't really have a recipe. I thought I did. Hmmm. I am not familiar enough w/ the crockpotting-arts to have the skillz to make up my own yet. However, good news! I came across this book at my sister's, and she gave it to me!! OMG! Providence! Now there are a bunch of meat recipes in here (rabbit!), but also tooooons of veggie side dishes and even desserts! I can't even wait to get started, I am totally inspired! The crock pot will surely see the light of day any moment now...

Oh, as a bonus, here's a great-looking chocolate pudding cake crock pot recipe I found online...I'm for sure going to try it.

The Smugal Gourmet

As I'm on a (very!) tight budget, I've decided to pay better attention to how much my groceries are costing...yet still be able to eat deliciously. I'd rather not go on the spaghetti and ramen diet. Last week I made lasagne! In place of meat, I used kidney beans as my protein (which is also cheaper!). I did some number crunching and determined that it cost approx $15 to make an entire pan, which was supposedly 8 servings. However, I ate it for like 5 meals and I still had a ton left over. This works out to around $1.87 per serving if I did the math right (doubtful), which isn't too shabby! However, I'm going to be able to get like 12 servings out of it, so that cost/serving will be even lower! (I don't feel like doing the math on that one.)

Initially, I meant to share with friends, before I was given various and sundry reasons why no one wanted to eat it: they "don't like noodles," "leftovers are gross," "I'm avoiding wheat/dairy/beans..." Whatever. I ended up freezing 2/3 of it and I'm hoping I can finish it all eventually so I get my money's worth! Cooking for 1 is kind of lame, I've discovered, when no one will share your food! If you have to toss 1/2 of it, it's not that good a deal.

I think I'm gong to have to work out some kind of meal-exchange program with those who don't "hate leftovers." Or get friends over here who are less picky!

Day Drinking: Revisted

Well, during one of my last layoffs, I tested drinking during the day (just because I could), and was not impressed with the results. With some encouragement, I decided to give 'er another whirl, and had a few mugs of coffee today with a few splashes of Bailey's. Not a good idea, folks! Bailey's was not the best choice. I felt all syrupy and nasty and headachy and dehydrated when I went on a walk later. I have since decided I think Bailey's is best for decaf before bed.

I might get better results having a 1pm beer, but it may be a while before I try that again. It might make me feel like a lush if I down a few by myself.

I Have a Fan!

Yay! A reason to update! I just assumed I was blogging into a black hole. Said fan requested a Crock Pot update. Well, I'm ashamed to admit that the update is that the pot is still in its box in the basement. I know!!! Inexcusable. Here is the website I'm using for my veggie crocks recipes! My fantasy plan is to go to the farmer's market, get some farm-fresh food, and toss it in the ol' crock for a delicious dinner. My ultimate goal is to become an expert and make a ton of non-soupy veggie crock entrees! A noble goal. Additionally, I think this will be a very cost-effective way to get economeal prices. Obviously I will do a per-meal price breakdown.

This new crock pot goal is a good idea--I need to create more structure into my day. Yesterday I was on the computer for hours, and then rolled over to a friend's house for dinner LITERALLY looking like a homeless person. It was like something the cat dragged in. Must remember to put on real clothes every day, not just lounge around in my Pillsbury dough boy jammie pants and fleeces.

Third Time's a Charm?

Well, here we are again. Laid off again for a grand total of three. I'm beginning to think that the Big Guy Upstairs is trying to tell me something. But what?? Extra points to you if you guess and get it right. I'm pretty much out of ideas.

a) I'm meant to make a career out of being a husbandless-housewife
b) I'm in training to be the best housewife possible to future, yet-unknown rich hubby
c) I am meant to be future counselor to people who don't have jobs?

I told a friend a few months ago I didn't think I was emotionally cut out to have a job and she told me that was ridiculous, so I have stricken that from my list. Apparently I need to create different situations but I'll be damned if I know how to do it. SIGH!

I figure I better get back on the blog-horse so I can cultivate all kinds of material and then write a book about not working and make a mint. I suppose I could spend my time right now working on book proposals. Publishing friends, I may be coming after YOU!

Anyhoo, I will continue my experiments and shoestring budget tactics. Right now I'm practicing ONLY going to grocery store when necessary, and even then only buying bare minimum, such as milk. I'm trying to eat my way through the food I've had in the cupboards/freezer for a while. I'll let you know how it goes. So far, successful, and low grocery bills! Recommended.

Oh, I also wanted to mention that I've heard a little adage about how bad things happen in threes--I'm hoping my 3 sucky jobs and 3 layoffs have played themselves out, and fab new amazing job is on the horizon...

The Adventures of Frances and Me

My 'rents went on a superlong vaca, so they dumped the cat off w/ me. The cat they "can't stand," which is actually the world's most spoiled puss and who came with an entire carload of accessories, including 5 beds, *4* large bags of food (for 3 weeks), a special blanket, and tons of care instructions, including a very specific way to scoop her litter box, the edict that i must give her fresh water every single day, proper brushing technique, and a barking command to create a special nest for her near the couch (which she now won't go near).

Frances is very aloof and waaaaay too good for anyone. She only comes out if she is absolutely starved for attention, and seems to be spending the majority of her time under my bed, on top of a rubbermaid. She is a princess and will not eat ANY of her food if it has dropped in the floor, will yell at you if her water is not fresh enough, and will scram if you pet her too much or not at all. Additionally, there is cat hair all up in my bizniss. She thinks her shiznit does not stink, but let me tell you it does...it stinks all up in my kitchen! But what an interesting way to loose weight...it's def an appetite suppressant...

However, i am reluctant to admit...i am getting used to have another living being around here. besides my half-dead plants.

Should I Buy a Crockpot? Update 2

Ok, i admit it, I haven't updated in a while because I officially had 69 posts and i didn't want to change the number (dirty!) but I know you're all on the edge of your seat about my crockpot status. Ok, i bought one weeks ago, never took it out of the box, and have since banished it to the basement. It's hard to get inspired to make stews when it's 80 degrees out.

State Fair: 3 Months and Counting

Today I heard the marketing chick from the state fair talk about...the state fair. I want her job so bad. how do i get her job??? tell me how! state fair: i love you. i love you and i want to marry you. I want to marry you so i can eat all the hush puppies and aussie fries and cheesecurds and deep fat fried snickers bars my poor old stomach can handle...and more. and drink 5 pints of leinies. And see the butterheads 10,000 times. 3 whole more months to go!

Consumer Reporting: Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime EXTRA tea UPDATE

Well, I have no idea if this works better than the regular or not. I'm guessing not. Jury's out. What I do know is that I need to start drinking it earlier...I'm getting tired of waking up at 3a.m. to pee. VERDICT: Who knows?

Consumer Reporting: Celestial Seasonings Sleepytime EXTRA Tea

I tried to find a link to this tea, but it must be so new it doesn't have one. Anyway, I was intrigued by the "extra," as I have been drinking regular sleepytime every night for a few weeks now. I tried this last night, and I was completely comatose while I was sitting up straight, but I don't know if that was the tea or not...

Tonight I decided to be more scientific. Well, not really. But I'm going to try it again and see what happens. I am currently a little bit tired. We'll see how long it takes me to tip over.

Should I Buy a Crock Pot: Update

So at Target today I saw that the 3-gallon crock pot is really only like $20! The 5.5 gallon is $50. I don't get that price break, but whatever. For $20, I feel like I can splurge. What does a single gal like me need to make 5 gallons of? Whatever it is, I'd get sick of it after 2 seconds, and I don't have that kind of freezer space. So I think I'm getting the cute red $20 one that matches my kitchen. I am now accepting vegetarian crock pot recipes.

A Balanced Diet

Tonight for dinner I had oatmeal chocolate chip cookie dough. And I washed it down with a beer. And was eying the cheesy bread at the bar. What? I'm trying to convince myself that there is a lot of nutritional value in all that oatmeal. It's hard when my belly feels bloated. I think I need to start getting up early and hitting the gym. Now that I will be finishing my thesis THIS WEEKEND, I will be out of excuses. But at least I passed up the cheese bread. Though that was more because I was feeling cheap. I wouldn't have turned it down if it had been free...

Chakra to Me!

Last week I took this chakra test to see what the dealio is, and apparently all my chakras are open except the root. But today i'm so crabby pants i'm sure i'm closed up all over the place. in 2 weeks when i'm totally done w/ school i'm making a beeline to the library to check out the recommended books so i can get things back in order. i think i need some healing touch. it's a little cheaper than a caribbean vacation, and i will really need to celebrate being done. bring it!

Consumer Reporting: Revlon 1" Ceramic Straightner VERDICT

Ok, I've tested it out. Works pretty well on freshly-cleaned hair and all that. However, i tried to straighten out some pony-tail bumps later in the day and I wasn't terribly impressed. I know there's a straightner on the market that is LITERALLY like $250 which i'm sure does not have that problem, but who here thinks I will spend that kind of money on this device? That's what I thought. Verdict: Buy it.

Another blog

I have been commanded at work to start a work blog, which is mostly empty. WTF am i supposed to write in a work blog that's even remotely interesting?? The other day i cracked and ended up posting about an 80s band for lack of any other interesting thing to say. I'm certainly not going to have my colleagues, bosses, and clients reading about my amazing hair-straightner adventures. i welcome ideas and suggestions for topics.

Survey: Should I Buy a Crock Pot?

Something drastic needs to happen. I just went over last months' grocery bills, and I'm pretty sure I spent double what I've allotted. Dammit! No more fresh flowers in my relationship corner or Ben and Jerry's. That's OK about the B&J's, since I haven't been to the gym in like 2 months and am entering the danger zone.

Anyhoo, I'm also spending too much going out to lunch during the week, so I need to get serious about cooking lots of stuff on the weekend to eat all week. I'm trying to convince myself that this would be worth it. It also matches my kitchen! And how much veg stuff can I cook in it besides stew? But how phat would it be to toss a bunch of stuff in that puppy on Sunday morning after the farmer's market and have lunch for the rest of the week...hmmm...if I could get just 8.5 lunches out of it, it would pay for itself...

Consumer Reporting: Ben and Jerry's Half Baked

Lately I've been feeling like a Cathy cartoon single's cliche. I'm in a Ben and Jerry's phase (or a whole-pan-of-brownies-phase, but I'm not ready to talk about that yet). Anyway, I've been wasting all my money burning through a few of those a week and then not exercising it off. I decided to taste-test my new fave flavor (Half Baked) in its two different forms: Low-Fat yogurt, and regular.

Now, normally I feel like that fro-yo stuff usually tastes way grosser and you're better off eating full-fat and less of it. Like everyone else smart. However, in this instance I must say that I think the light is comperably equally delish, and considerably fewer calories and less fat. And in this instance, I'd eat the same amount no matter what. Verdict: Try the fro-yo.